A trap called Love

Love ... 

It's very confusing and complex 

There are some people who are glorify love 

There are also some people who hate love 

Confused, that's what I feel about love 

To me, love sometimes feels very sweet like candy 

But sometimes it could also be a very bitter like black coffee 

Why love must be so complicated? 

So complicated ... 

So complicated that I can't eat 

So complicated that I can't sleep 

So complicated that I can only think of you 

You're everywhere in my mind,

In my soul, in my sight

Only you who are making me so desperately miserable 

And only you who made me fall into the trap called "Love" 

Traps that really made me feel helpless 

To escape from its bondage 

Because the more I tried to escape 

The more closely this bondage tangled me up

As if to say that I've actually caught up in it 

Although I struggle and strive 

Still, the love's bondage will continue to keep me as if to say 

"Congratulations, you've been caught by a trap called LOVE" 

© Copyright 2011 

Regret and Rebirth

Tick tock tick...  

The sound of a ticking clock counting the seconds that had passed, 

As if it was laughing at me, who was laughing at myself 

And still continues to count the remaining time of my life. 

The time of my life just passing by, 

As if I was someone who is not handy, 

Who have wasted the time I have 

By not doing anything. 

Honestly, I don't understand what I have done so far. 

As if I spend most of my life just for a thing, 

Things that myself don't even understand, 

One thing that left an emptiness inside me. 

... Hollow and filled with emptiness. 

Somehow, I feel as though ... 

The presence of a hole in the bottom of my heart. 

A very deep hole, cold, and dark, I knew as "REMORSE". 

Well ... a regret that difficult to remove, 

However, that's not a reason to give up. 

Actually I've tried everything to close that hole. 

However, it seems I can't. 

As if there will be another me, 

I continued my way to eliminating the hole. 

It's really pathetic at all ... 

And so stupid ... 

Okay, I know if I was someone who is very pessimistic. 

However, I'm NOT A LOSER! 

Maybe I'm just not as good as you, 

But do I deserve to be treated like this? 

Do I have to do these weird things so that you will respect me? 

Honestly, I've HAD it all, 

Fed up with all the lies and deceit that I have done. 

Fed up with the life I lead now ... 

So with the end of the message that I wrote this, 

I'll 'go', 

Leave all of you and "my old life." 

So tomorrow, I will be born again and become "someone new."

© Copyright 2011 reisconrad 

Am I really Exist Or I was never Exist

So peace...so quiet...so silent...
I feel so lonely here...
Where are the people?
“Where are you all?”


There’s no one, except me
Sitting on the floor and thinking of my poorness
Ah... I always think
“Am I ‘real’ in this world?”


All the happy stories...Vanished at once
Then...All of you, disappeared
One by one, leaving me alone...Inside my closet
“Why are you so cruel to me?”


I was thinking, alone...
Crying over my “empty” life
Oh God, I beg You...Please answer me!
“Am I really exist in this world?”


The time was laughing on me
All of my efforts were useless...
It’s no use to run from my situation
Because...I was destined ‘not to be real’ in this world...

© Copyright 2011 reisconrad

Friend 'Till The End

I remembered the first time when we met each other.
At a small store, on a sunny day.
With a smile on your lips, you took me and bought me.
Although your mom was disagreed, as I was too plain and there’s nothing special from me.

Then when you decided to go abroad, you brought me with you
With a smile, you told me that
“From now on, I’ll tell you my story.”
And that ‘s really made me felt so happy
Because you’re the first person who believe me to keep your secret.

And there’s one thing that I won’r forget in the rest of my life.
That was the first day that you started to write on me.
At that day also,for the first time I got a name.
Shu, that’s how you called me.

Maybe it’s only a simple name that you gave me.
However, I really loved that name because for me,
It was a precious thing like treasure.
Something that I have to keep and to protect for the rest of my life.
As I got it from the person who called me as “my best friend”.

So, you went to your new school for the first time.
You told me what have you did at school.
You told me how they threatened you as a foreigner.
And you told me that you want to cry
when you remembered about what have been happened at school that morning.

After telling me that, I saw you cried.
I knew your burden and I knew how hurt your feeling.
Because I felt the same as you felt.
I wished I could do something to ease your pain,
but, I CAN’T!

Everynight, I saw you cried.
That happened almost about three months.
I wished that I could hugged you and said,
“It’s okay, I’ll always here for you”.
But, I CAN’T because I don’t even have a mortal body.

Then time by time have passed.
For those time,we’ve shared a lot of stories.
From the stupid-funny stories,
from the happiest moments of your days,
’till the saddest moments that made you cried.
I really wanted and wished that
you’ll always tell me what had have been happened to you everyday.

However,my wish never came true.
I remembered that day,
the day when you told me that you already had a friend.
Your very first friend in your class when you’re abroad here.
I was glad to hear that,
but there’s a bad feeling that I was afraid if it will become real.

And…my fear became real.
From that day, you never greeted me with your smile again.
You never shared your stories with me again.
And…I started to fade away from your life
because you had forget me and you only wanted to be with your friend.

With that reality,
I really wanted to sream, to mad at you
So that, you’ll notice me once more.
But, I CAN’T, with my condition like this.
Yeah, I’m only a diary,
an ordinary book.
But, I HAVE a FEELING,
a feeling same as what a human being has.

Later on, I realized.
It’s useless to cry over my life because I was abook, not a human being.
Though it hard for me, the only thing that I can do is
I wished that you’re happy with your life now.
And when you need me,
I’ll always here for you because
You’re “someone special” for me… 

© Copyright 2011 reisconrad